Another autumn is drizzling its way by. The sky is dark when we wake up in the morning, and lately, it is getting dark by the time we get home. It is not that my workdays have gotten any longer, but the days are getting shorter. With daylight savings time coming up next week (the 29th fyi), falling back might help waking up in the morning a bit easier the for the short amount of time that I can convince myself that I am going to bed an hour ealier every night. It will be a weird year to remember in terms of milestones – happy ones at least. My mother got remarried in October, and we bought our first piece of property here in the city (sign the papers in November), and sadly, I have had to admit that soft beds are for youngens (bye bye featherbed ‘o mine) … signs of growing up I guess =)
In the wee hours of this morning, I finished my SSHRC application (trying to convince the government that my research is worth funding) due today. Although the chances are slim in winning one, I decided to put in the effort (was shady there for a while but I pulled through thanks to some Spiced Rum and a good friend). With the rising of the sun this morning, I felt the weight of another deadline passing lift off of my shoulders. My grading is done a week in advance for the class i am TA’ing for so that feels good. I am behind on my 12 week thesis plan, but at least I have an infusion of inspiration from the SSHRC application.
Letting go – always a hard thing to do. Whether its your favorite sweater or a project you were really hoping to do, sometimes we just need to let go of lost opportunities and things. Trying to figure out the balance of what is worth fighting for and what is better left alone. It is a tough lesson to learn – one I am always trying to teach my daughters. But it is a very finicky line; one that I am not too clear on more often than not, which usually results in making things worse instead of better. But as I am often reminded, I am but a youngen, I still have many years to learn. (Why can’t I still be young when it comes to my sleeping habits dammit!).
Moving on is as hard as letting go. But with milestones and deadlines, at least the momentum is a forward one. Soon the holidays will be here, my family will be around me again and I can spend time on what really matters to me. My thesis will be submitted in January and I can take stock and re-evaluate in the new year.